Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

Dave Brags About His Ancestor

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Dave Brags About His Patriotic Ancestor Dave was a motorcyclist and proud patriot. He bragged that his ancestor served in the Revolutionary War whenever he had the chance. He’d been boasting to Gary while they were having a libation at a stop on a poker run. Gary said, “That’s amazing. I have an ancestor who fought in the Revolutionary War, too. Do you belong to the Sons of the American Revolution?” Dave got a sheepish look. “No, I don’t.” “Why not?” “I’m not eligible. He fought in the British Army and, though he deserted and stayed in America, it was after the war was over.” “That’s fascinating. Do you have any idea why he decided to desert the British and stay here?” “Well, yes. According to the family story, General Cornwallis was probably the meanest officer the British Army ever knew and my ancestor was his orderly. After he surrendered at Yorktown, he told my ancestor that he was discharged and added, ‘I suppose you can’t wait for me to die so you can dance on my grave.’ And my ancestor replied, ‘No, sir. Now that I’m out of the army, I vow I’ll never stand in line again.’”

Paul Tries Riding His Bike with Two Fingers

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

On a rare scorching hot day in the Pacific Northwest, Paul and Pete, two motorcycle enthusiasts, share a hilarious tale of a misguided two-finger driving experiment and the consequences of underestimating the heat. Their lighthearted banter and camaraderie offer a humorous glimpse into the world of motorcycle adventures.

Two Europeans in a Bike Gear Store

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Two Europeans Walk Into a Bike Gear Store Alvin owned a motorcycle gear store. In the window, he had a mannequin wearing ladies gear—from helmet to T-shirt and leather jacket to leather pants and high-heeled boots. Leon and Veronica came into the store. They were tourists from Europe; Veronica spoke no English and Leon had quite an accent. “Vould it be okay if my fiancée tried on the outfit in the vindow?” Leon asked Alvin. Alvin was taken aback. But he answered, “It’s been a slow month. If she really wants to, and you don’t mind, let her go ahead. She’s good looking. Maybe trying the outfit on in the window will bring in a few customers.”

Simon Comes Face to Face With a Bear

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Simon The Atheist Asks God for a Favor Simon was an avid motorcycle enthusiast. He was also an atheist. One fine summer weekend he rode to Mt. Rainier and set up his tent far from any other campers. After a supper of campfire chili, he doused the embers of his fire and turned in for the night. Before too long, he heard snuffling and low growling. Huge claws raked open the side of his tent. He tried to run, but was held down by his sleeping bag. The bear pinned Simon, showed his sharp teeth, and raised a powerful paw. Simon screamed, “God, please help me!” Time stopped. From within glowing orb of white light, a voice spoke, “Now, because you need me, you believe! Well, I am merciful. I’ll give you one last chance.” Simon was ashamed to ask a favor just for himself, so, after some thought, he asked, “Can you make the bear kinder to human beings?” The heavenly voice answered, “Of course I can. If that is what you want, let it be so.” The light blinked out. The bear closed his mouth, lowered his paw, and sat next to Simon. Then the bear put his paws together, bowed his huge head, and began, “Dear God, thank you for this meal I am about to eat….”

Sam Recovers His Stolen Bike

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Sam's Bike Gets Stolen from a Bar The bar and grill didn’t seem to be biker-friendly, but Sam the motorcycle enthusiast was starving. He parked near the front door. He had a pretty good burger, onion rings, and root beer. He was especially pleased that none of the locals bothered him. But when he went outside, his motorcycle was gone. He’d have heard it if someone drove it away, so he was pretty sure someone from the tavern had walked it to a nearby hiding place. He strode back in to the bar, pulled out his pistol (yes, he had a concealed-carry permit), twirled it around, and fired a shot through the ceiling. That got everybody’s attention. Sam growled, “I know one of you took my ride. I’m going to have another root beer and if my bike isn’t back by the front door, I’m gonna do here what I had to do in Arizona.” The threat worked. When Sam finished his root beer and went outside, there was his motorcycle—without a scratch. He mounted up and was ready to leave when the bartender came outside. The bartender asked him, “Before you go…I’m just curious…what did you do in Arizona?” “I had to walk home.”

Jim Runs Over Wralph the Wren

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Wralph the Wren Gets Run over by a Bike Wralph the wren was flying across a country road when—splat—he hit the windscreen of a motorcycle. Jim, who was riding that bike, was startled and, when he saw Wralph lying in the road, very sad. “Maybe the little bird is still alive,” Jim thought. He was a bird lover. In fact, he’d owned a canary that had died just a few months ago. Jim checked the bird and its tiny heart was beating a mile a minute, but Wralph was completely unconscious. Jim took the bird home and put it in the birdcage that had belonged to his canary. In the morning, Wralph woke from his concussion, looked around him and saw the bars, and exclaimed, “Oh, no! I must have killed that biker!”

Martha Tries to Get Andy Acquitted

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Why Did Martha's Plan Fail? Martha the motorcycle enthusiast had one of the least-popular jobs in America. She was a defense attorney, and her job was to get her clients acquitted—no matter what. Andy was her client, and he was one of the ones she didn’t think she could get off. His wife Natalie was missing and he was accused of killing her and getting rid of her body. Neighbors testified to the frequent fights the couple had; relatives told how frightened Andy’s wife was. When the police testified that they’d hauled Andy in several times for spousal abuse, things were really looking grim. But Martha had a plan. She addressed the jury, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve had some surprising news. If you look at the door at the back of the courtroom, you’ll see Natalie walk through that door, very much alive.” All eyes focused on that door. But nothing happened. Once again, Martha spoke to the jury, “Ladies and gentlemen, no one is coming through that door. However, because all of you looked, that proves you have the shadow of a doubt about my client’s guilt. Because you looked, you must find him innocent.” Low and behold, the jury found Andy guilty. Martha had the opportunity to question the jury. She asked, “How could you find Andy guilty when you all thought Natalie might walk through that door?” The jury foreman answered, “We did all look toward the door. But one person in that courtroom never turned his head.” “Who was that?” asked Martha. “Andy.”

Melvin Tries Oysters for The First Time

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Melvin Tries Au Naturel Oysters Pat and Melvin rode their motorcycles all the way from Wyoming to participate in the famous Oyster Run. At the first stop, Pat chickened out on the oysters and ordered flounder. But Melvin couldn’t wait to try this delicacy he’d heard so much about. “What does this au naturel mean?” he asked the waiter. “Oh, that just means we cook the oysters and serve them just as they are when they come from the sea.” “That’s just what I want,” Melvin said. Soon the waiter brought their orders, and the two men tucked in to their lunch. Not half an hour later, Melvin was doubled over in pain. “I think I’m dying, Pat. Help me.” There was no way Melvin could ride his motorcycle to the emergency room, so Pat called a taxi. In the emergency room, the doctor asked what Melvin had eaten recently. “Oysters, eh?” she said. “Were the oysters fresh?” “I don’t know.” Melvin gasped out. “I had never seen an oyster until today.” The doctor asked, “What color were they when you shelled them?” Melvin was flummoxed. “What do you mean, shelled them?

Annabelle Gets a Second Chance at Life

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

Untitled Document A Little Humor Annabelle Gets a Forty-Year Life Extension Annabelle was a dedicated Harley Davidson rider. Through no fault of her motorcycle, she had a heart attack. She found herself floating above her body, which was on the operating table, and walking down a corridor toward a bright light. “God, is that you?” she asked. “I’m here, Annabelle,” a deep, mellow voice answered. “Am I dying? I’m only forty-five, and there are so many things I still want to do, so many rides I haven’t taken.” God listened. “Well, okay, I’ll give you a standard forty-year extension.” Schwoop! Annabelle was back in her body, in the recovery room. She clung to the memory of her near-death experience. She thought about all the things she hadn’t done and she thought about the forty years she still had to live. The next day she told her doctor, “Look, while I’m in here, I’d like to have some work done. I’ve got a new lease on life and I want to look my best while I enjoy it.” She had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and strategic liposuction. Riding her Harley home from the hospital, she was struck by a semi and killed instantly. When she arrived in heaven, she asked God, “What happened to that forty-year extension you promised? Why didn’t you snatch me out of the path of that truck?” “I didn’t recognize you.”

John Gets a Flat Tire

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor John Gets Some Unexpected Advice I was looking for jokes about motorcycles and wheels and I ran across this one, which isn’t about motorcycles, but is just too cute to miss: John was driving past a hospital for mentally ill people when he had a flat tire. He took off the hubcap, removed the bolts, and carefully put the bolts into the hubcap. Then he took the wheel off and stood up—and knocked over the hubcap. The bolts spilled into the storm sewer drain. When he stopped cussing, John heard a patient calling him from behind the hospital fence. “Hey, you,” the man said, “just take one bolt from each tire so each tire will have three bolts. That should get you to a service station.” “That’s a great idea! Thank you so much! I don’t see why you’ve been locked up in there.” The patient said, “I’m here for being crazy, not stupid.”

Tommy Takes Customer Service Seriously

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Never Tell a Customer No Tommy loved motorcycling so much he took a job at his local dealership. He worked at the customer service window in the parts department. Martin, the owner of the dealership, overheard a conversation Tommy had with a woman customer. “We haven’t had it for quite some time, and I don’t think we’ll get it any time soon.” Martin jumped in, “Ma’am, I promise you that we’ll get it for you as soon as humanly possible.” The customer looked at him strangely and left. As soon as she was gone, Martin laid into Tommy. He ripped him up one side and down the other. “You never, never, never tell a customer she can’t get what she needs at this store. You tell her we’ll have it next week. It’s that simple. Next week. Now, what was she asking for?” “Rain.”

Alphonse and The Thermos

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor What Does a Thermos Do? Alphonse was enthusiastic about motorcycles—he rode one and he worked in a motorcycle dealership—but he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the chandelier. One evening a salesman knocked on his door. “I’d like to show you a wonderful device for the working man,” the salesman began. “It’s called a thermos.” “What does it do?” Alphonse asked. “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” Alphonse pondered for a few minutes. Then the salesman put in, “It fits perfectly in most motorcycle saddlebags.” Well, that did it. Alphonse bought the thermos. The next morning he carried it proudly into the motorcycle dealership. His fellow employees gathered around. “What is that, Alphonse?” his manager asked. “It’s a thermos.” “What does a thermos do?” “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” Alphonse swaggered to his desk. “But what do you have in it?” “A cup of chicken soup and a grape popsicle.”

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