Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

Burglar Protection

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor How To Protect Your Apartment From Burglars Al was getting ready to go to Sturgis. He was really worried about leaving his apartment for the Rally itself and the time it would take to ride to South Dakota and back. He was grousing about this to his friend, Pete. “The last thing I want is to come home to find my apartment wrecked and my stuff missing,” Al said. “I never worry about that,” Pete answered. “Why not? We both live in neighborhoods that aren’t the safest in the world. And don’t tell me you don’t worry about it. I’ve seen your front door. You’ve got six locks on it.” “Right. And when I leave my apartment I lock every other one. That way, I figure, any burglar is locking as many as he’s getting open.”

Why Is Matt Late Again?

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Matt Is Always on Time, Except for One Day a Year Al and his wife Betty owned a motorcycle store. When that time of year rolled around again, when it was time to “spring forward” and set the clocks ahead, he was talking to Betty at breakfast. “I wonder if Matt will be late again today.” “It’s the same thing every year. The day after we set the clocks ahead, he’s late.” Betty went on. “This year I’m going to find out why.” Al and Betty rode their motorcycles to the store and opened for the day. Sure enough, Matt was late. When he came in, Betty asked him, “Matt, you’re always on time, except for one day a year. What makes you late on the day after we go on daylight savings time? Do you have trouble remembering to set the clock ahead?” “No,” Matt answered. “But after I stay up until two in the morning to turn the clock ahead, I’m just too tired to get up when the alarm goes off.”

A Famous Irish Invention

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Irish Inventor James Martin Had an Inspiration Patricia is a motorcyclist who is very proud of her Irish descent. She recently told me about some not-actually famous Irish inventors. My favorite is James Martin. According to Patricia, back in the 1940s, he was sitting next to a woman who nagged during the entire flight about how she was always the one who had to pack the suitcases no matter where they went. As she burbled on, James had an inspiration. The ejector seat. He perfected his notion and it was first tested in 1946.

A Twist at The Grocery Store

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor An Unexpected Twist at The Grocery Store Jonathan pulled up at the grocery store to get some onions and tomatoes for spaghetti. As he got off his motorcycle, an old lady spoke to him. “Excuse me, but you’re the spitting image of my son. He died last Tuesday and all the light went out of my life.” Jonathan, always polite, said, “I’m sorry, ma’am. Is there anything I can do to help?” “Why, yes, there is. It would do my heart good to have you call me ‘Mother.’ When I leave the store, could you just wave at me and say, ‘Goodbye, Mother’?” “Sure I can.” Jonathan took his time finding the best onions and tomatoes and then picked up some bottled water, too. When he got to the front of the store, the old woman was ready to leave with her groceries. As he’d promised, Jonathan waved and yelled out, “Goodbye, Mother.” He was amazed when his bill came to well over eighty dollars. “What do you mean $84.54? I got just these three things!” The clerk answered, “Yes, but your mom said you’d pay for her groceries.”

Prince Gets Pulled Over By The State Trooper

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Prince Puts the Pedal to the Metal One cold winter day Prince flew into his hometown of Minneapolis and decided it was too cold to ride his motorcycle home to Paisley Park, so he called for a limousine. Once on the freeway, he asked the driver if he could try driving the limo. “I’ve never done that, and I’d really like to try it.” The driver agreed and they pulled off the freeway. They got the front seat adjusted for Prince’s short stature and were on their way. However, over the chauffeur’s vehement objections, Prince put the pedal to the metal, and soon they were doing ninety miles an hour in a seventy zone. Sure enough, a siren wailed and lights flashed, and a state trooper pulled them over. He didn’t even ask for Prince’s ID before he had his supervisor on the phone. “I’ve just pulled over a real VIP. What do I do?” The supervisor answered, “Is it the governor again?” “No, but he’s even more important than the governor. He’s got Prince for his chauffeur.”

Jim is Going to Marriage Counseling

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Why Doesn't Mark Need Counseling? The motorcycle club was having its usual Friday night gathering at the local watering hole. Jim spoke up, “The wife and I are going to marriage counseling. She thinks it will help our relationship.” “We’d never need marriage counseling,” asserted Mark. “Why not?” “Because she majored in communications and I majored in theater.” “What’s that got to do with it?” “Well, she communicates very well, and I act like I’m listening.”

No S’Mores at Eagle Leather Barbecues

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Why You Won’t Get S’Mores at Eagle Leather Barbecues Chuck and Mavis had four other couples who loved both motorcycling and barbecues over for a backyard picnic. The coals in the fire pit were dying down, and the sky was purply-black. Chuck brought out the marshmallows and toasting sticks, while Mavis got the graham crackers and chocolate squares ready. They were all putting marshmallows onto the toasting sticks when they heard sirens. They glimpsed flashing lights hurtling down the street in front of the house. All too soon, the sirens stopped. They rushed to see what was going on and saw that a house just three doors down was in flames. It’s only human—they ran to the scene. After getting quite a few dirty looks, they realized that they’d brought their marshmallow-tipped sticks with them.

Three Officers Cross a Creek

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor How Did The Officers Cross The Creek? Three officers rode their motorcycles to a remote wilderness hiking trail. After they’d walked for quite a ways, they came to a rampaging creek. How would they ever get across? The Air Force colonel prayed, “Dear God, give me the strength to get across this stream.” WHAM! The colonel had huge arms and strong legs and was able to swim across. However, it took him well over an hour and he was exhausted when he reached the other side. The Army colonel took note and adjusted his prayer, “Dear God, give me the strength and the tools I need to cross this stream safely.” KAPOWIE! There was a little boat and oars, which the colonel used to cross the stream. It did take him nearly as long as it had taken the Army colonel and he almost capsized a few times. So the Navy captain changed up the prayer, too. “Dear God,” he prayed, “Give me the strength, the tools, and the intelligence to get across this creek.” God turned him into a Marine lance corporal, who looked at his map, hiked downstream a hundred yards or so, and walked across the bridge.

Bill and Tom Are Getting Old

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Look at Those Old Guys! When the group of motorcycle enthusiasts got to the last stop on the poker run, Bill said to Tom, “Look at those old guys sittin’ across from us. Do you think we’ll look that bad in another ten, fifteen, years?” Tom replied, “You’re lookin’ in a mirror.”

Motorcycle Enthusiasts In Heaven

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Archangel Gabriel Talks to God “God, we have to talk,” said the archangel Gabriel. “Some of the motorcycle enthusiasts you’ve let in here are causing a lot of trouble. They swing on the pearly gates and dribble barbecue sauce everywhere. They wear T-shirts instead of robes and baseball caps or cowboy hats instead of halos. They won’t fly anywhere—just ride their bikes. And to top it all off, my horn is missing.” God just said, “Calm down, Gabriel. Bikers will be bikers. All my children are welcome, and these riders did a lot of good while they were alive. Why don’t you see how Satan is doing with his share of the motorcycling crowd?” So Gabriel phoned Hell. “Hey, Lucifer,” he said, “you’ve got some bikers down there, right?” “Yeah, Gabe, I do. But hold on a minute. I’ve got an emergency down here.” After a few minutes, Satan came back. “Sorry, Gabriel, it’s those motorcycle riders. I’ve only got a few of them down here and they put out my fires and were trying to install air conditioning.”

Betty Wants to Get Feddie a Doll

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Freddie and The Doll Cal and Betty had a three-year-old son named Freddie. One night after Freddie had been tucked in, Betty said to Cal, “We should get Freddie a doll.” “A doll!” exclaimed, Cal. “My boy is going to grow up like me—become a Navy Seal, fix heavy equipment, ride a hog on the weekend. What does he need with a doll?” “Yes, Cal, he’s going to grow up to be just like you. He’s going to be a Seal, a diesel mechanic, and a motorcycle enthusiast. But there’s one more thing. He’s going to be a dad. And practicing on a doll will help him be better at that.” “Hmmph. Well, I guess I can see that. But does it have to be a doll?” “Could we get him a stuffed animal he can dress up? And it has to be a tough animal,” Cal said. Betty agreed and bought a stuffed lion. Then she created three outfits to fit the stuffed toy: a Navy Seal uniform, a mechanic’s jumpsuit, and a leather jacket and jeans. Together, they gave Freddie his new toy. Cal got into the spirit of the moment. He dressed the stuffed animal in the Seal uniform. “See, son, this is how Daddy looked when he was in the Navy.” Then he put the jumpsuit on the toy. “And at work Daddy looks like this.” Freddie was looking more and more confused, but Cal soldiered on. He took off the mechanic’s uniform and dressed the lion in the motorcycling outfit. “And when Daddy rides his motorcycle, he looks like this.” Finally, Freddie asked, “Daddy, do you really turn into a lion?”

The Misspelled Sale Sign

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Misspelled Sale Sign Joe the motorcycle enthusiast walked past his favorite motorcycle store. He noticed a sign that read: BIG SALE MOTORSYCLE GEAR “Good grief,” Joe said to himself. “I’d better let them know about that.” Inside the store he found Charlie, the proprietor. “Hey, Charlie,” Joe said, “did you know you misspelled motorcycles on your sign in the window?” “Well, yes, I did know,” Charlie answered. “Aren’t you going to change it?” Joe took a jacket from the sale rack. “Maybe later,” said Charlie as he rang up yet another sale he’d made to someone who came in to tell him about his “misspelled” sign.

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