“God, we have to talk,” said the archangel Gabriel. “Some of the motorcycle enthusiasts you’ve let in here are causing a lot of trouble. They swing on the pearly gates and dribble barbecue sauce everywhere. They wear T-shirts instead of robes and baseball caps or cowboy hats instead of halos. They won’t fly anywhere—just ride their bikes. And to top it all off, my horn is missing.”
God just said, “Calm down, Gabriel. Bikers will be bikers. All my children are welcome, and these riders did a lot of good while they were alive. Why don’t you see how Satan is doing with his share of the motorcycling crowd?”
So Gabriel phoned Hell. “Hey, Lucifer,” he said, “you’ve got some bikers down there, right?”
“Yeah, Gabe, I do. But hold on a minute. I’ve got an emergency down here.”
After a few minutes, Satan came back. “Sorry, Gabriel, it’s those motorcycle riders. I’ve only got a few of them down here and they put out my fires and were trying to install air conditioning.”
Yet, there’s no denying it: Unless you plan to ride exclusively around the Southern United States, you’ll face some chilly winters. And even before it...
