Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

The Old Fisherman

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor How Many Did You Catch? The deluge of rain had finally let up and Wilbur was riding home on his motorcycle. He had to go slow to avoid the many rain-filled potholes. He was amazed to see an old men sitting on the curb. He had a string tied to a stick and and was dangling the string in the water in an especially large pothole. “What are you doing, sir,” Wilbur asked. “Fishing,” replied the old man. Wilbur thought the old fellow was crazy and was about to ride on. Just then the skies opened and rain poured down in torrents. Wilbur parked his bike under the awning at a bar that happened to be right there. He took pity on the old “fisherman.” “Hey, come in with me. I’ll buy you a drink,” Wilbur said. When the old man and Wilbur were seated at the bar waiting for their drinks, he felt sorry for the crazy old guy and asked, “How many did you catch today?” “You’re the fourth one.”

Alfie Asks for a Motorcycle

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Larry and Alfie Make a Deal When Alfie started college, he begged and pleaded for a motorcycle. “Dad,” he said, “I really need one to get to classes on time.” His father, Larry, told him, “Son, you know I love motorcycles and I think you should have one. I’ll pay for it if you can do these three things this semester: get good grades, keep your room clean, get your hair cut.” At the end of the semester, Alfie handed Larry his excellent grade report and brought up the subject of motorcycles. “Son,” said Larry, “These are really good grades and I’ve seen that you keep your room clean. But you haven’t cut your hair.” “Even Jesus had long hair,” Alfie responded. “Yes, and Jesus walked everywhere, too.”

Too Hot for Mowing

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor What Will The Neighbors Say? On a day that was so hot the robins were using potholders as they pulled worms from the ground, George rode home on his motorcycle. He headed straight for the shower to cool off. “Honey,” said Louise, his wife, “remember that you promised to mow the lawn today.” While George was toweling off, he asked Louise, “It’s so darn hot. What do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn in my birthday suit?” “She must have married him for his money.”

A Grammatical Argument

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Marty and Rosa Stop in Cle Elem Marty was riding with Rosa in the sidecar. They had a lovely ride, enjoying the scenery and the fresh air. All went well until they came to Cle Elem and stopped for lunch. The argument began in the parking lot. “It’s ClEE Lim,” said Marty. “No, the name of the town is pronounced, ClAY Elem,” argued Rosa. And the argument continued until they were standing in the restaurant. “Let’s settle this,” Marty said. “Let’s ask a local.” And he asked the man behind the counter, “How do pronounce the name of this place?” The counterman leaned over and said, emphasizing each syllable, “Berr Gerr King.”

Sammy The Troublemaker

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Sammy Knocks Over the Outhouse There are no motorcycles in this joke, because it happened a long, long time before motorcycles were invented. But we’re sure that Sammy would ride one if he could. Sammy was pretending to fight the British in the yard behind his house. Charging fast, he knocked over the outhouse. He figured he’d be in trouble, so he ran into the woods and hid until dark. When he finally got scared enough to come out, his father was waiting. “Son, did you knock over the outhouse?” “No, Pa, I didn’t.” “Sammy, I’m going to tell you a true story and I hope you learn from it. When General George Washington was a boy, he chopped down his father’s favorite cherry tree. When his father asked him who chopped down the tree, little George answered, ‘I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the cherry tree.’ And his father told him that, because he told the truth, he would not be punished. Now, Sammy, did you knock over that outhouse?” “I knocked it over. It was an accident. I’m sorry, Pa,” said Sammy. Pa gave Sammy a spanking. Sammy said, “But, Pa, when George Washington told the truth he didn’t get punished.” “His father wasn’t sitting in the cherry tree.”

Don't Make Assumptions!

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Don't Make Assumptions Al is a volunteer at the local Chamber of Commerce tourist information office and a motorcycle enthusiast. He watched as two elderly people parked their scooters and came to stand looking at the hotel brochures in the window. The man and the woman both looked tired, disheveled, and a bit raggedy. Al motioned for them to come in. The old man asked, “Do you have a recommendation for a cheap, clean hotel?” Al said, “Look, I have the greatest respect for you both, riding and traveling at your age. I’m going to treat you to a night at the best hotel around. Full service. Dinner, too. And all on me.” The man and woman were a bit dazed, but happy, and rode off to the swanky hotel. The next morning the old woman came back to the tourist bureau and thanked Al for the dinner and the hotel. “I have just one question,” she said. “Who was that old man I had to share the room with?”

Tollbooth Drama

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Recommended by Dentists and Tollbooth Workers Clell was riding his motorcycle when he came to a tollgate. As he waited in the short line to drop his change into the basket, he heard the brakes squealing on a semi just two tollbooths over. As Clell watched in horror, the semi ploughed into the booth. Clell pushed his bike to the roadside and ran to help. Luckily that tollbooth was empty and the trucker wasn’t hurt. But pieces of tollbooth were scattered all over the lanes behind the tollgate. Within minutes, a white highway-department pickup pulled in and a crew hopped out. Clell watched, fascinated, as the workers smeared white goo on the sides of the broken pieces. They stuck pieces together, two by two, and—presto—the tollbooth was reassembled and ready to use. Clell couldn’t believe it. “What’s that stuff you used to stick the pieces together?” he asked one of the workers. The worker answered, “Tollgate boothpaste.”

A Fire at Sturgis

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Norway to the Rescue? A fire broke out in a small town not too far north of Sturgis. It was the chemical plant! Fire departments from that town and all the towns around rushed to put out the flames. But they couldn’t get a handle on the conflagration. James, the owner of the plant, grabbed the bullhorn from the incident commander. “The only copies of our top secret formulas are kept in the safe. They’re worth millions. I’ll give $100,000 to the fire department that saves them.” The firemen redoubled their efforts, but to no avail. After some hours had passed and the fire burned as fiercely as ever, a bell clanged. An ancient fire truck from the town of Norway Spruce rushed toward the fire. The truck was manned by Norwegians well past retirement age. When it became clear that the truck wasn’t going to stop, the other firemen leaped out of the way. They watched, aghast, as the Norway Springs truck roared right into the fire. The codgers leapt out and subdued the flames in their immediate vicinity, which happened to be where the safe was kept. They saved the safe and managed to back out of the fire. The priceless formulas were saved! James was amazed and grateful. He said, “Because of your bravery and skill, I’m upping the reward to 200,000.” Mary, the local reporter, rushed up to Nils, the captain of the Norway Spruce volunteer fire department, shoved a microphone in his face, and asked, “What will you do with all that money?” “First, get da doggone brakes fixed on dat fire truck.”

The Bear Knight

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Bear Knight Gorval the bear didn’t ride a motorcycle—not even a sidecar. No, he lived a long time ago. But he was the mighty ruler of a mighty kingdom. Many brave men sought to become Knights of his Forest Round Table. However, the only way to earn that honor was after a personal interview with Gorval. If Gorval determined that the candidate was worthy, he dubbed him Knight. But, if he wasn’t up to Gorval’s standard, Gorval swiped his mighty paw and knocked the fellow’s head clean off. Now, Gorval was not a mean ruler. To console the families of the beheaded, he would give them one of his valuable sheepdogs. And so it is said: For the mourning after a terrible Knight, nothing beats the dog of the bear that hit you.

A Nurse's Revenge

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor What Goes Around... Alan the motorcycle policeman named his bike Catchem. One evil day he and Catchem went tumbling down a ravine. Luckily, Alan survived. Catchem—not so much. Alan had a broken leg and required surgery to pin it. He woke in the recovery room. The doctor stopped by and explained that all would be well and he’d be back at work once the break healed sufficiently. After the doctor left, Alan felt pulling at his chest hairs. He couldn’t imagine what would cause that, since the operation was on his leg. So, he pulled down his hospital gown and saw three broad tapes firmly plastered to his chest. The writing on them was upside down, so he could easily read: From the nurse you ticketed last week. I’ll be around soon to rip these off.

Garage Real Estate

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Priorities... Priorities... Alan and Marie each have a motorcycle, and they have a car, too. They moved from Tacoma to Minneapolis one summer. When winter came, they learned about two-foot snowfalls and “snow emergencies” when cars have to park on one side of the street so plows can clear the road. The first week in January, the guy on the TV news announced, “Minneapolis has a snow emergency. You must park on the north or east side of the street.” Marie dutifully went outside and moved the car to the north side of the street. Two weeks later, the announcer read, “Minneapolis has another snow emergency. Park on the south or west side of the street tonight.” Marie trudged out into the cold and parked the car on the south side of the street. As Valentine’s Day approached, the newsman announced yet another snow emergency. “We’re having a typical Minnesota winter, folks. We’ve got another snow emergency for Minneapolis. Park on the north or east side of the street tonight.” As Marie put on her heavy coat, Alan said, “Why not just leave the car in the garage this time?”

Get a Job

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Get a Job! Some motorcycle enthusiasts met at a Job Fair. They were discussing the trouble they had finding employment. Morty got canned from his job in an orange juice factory, but he got canned. Then he tried to work in a deli, but no matter how he sliced it, he couldn’t cut the mustard. Don was a lumberjack, but he couldn’t hack it, so they gave him the ax. He tried working in a muffler factory, but it was too exhausting. Samson was a musician, but discovered that he wasn’t noteworthy. He tried working in a shoe factory, but he just didn’t fit in. Cindy studied to become a doctor, but she didn’t have any patience. She got a job at the local gym, but they told her she wasn’t fit for the job. Ralph was a professional fisherman, but he couldn’t live on his net income. He had to quit his job with the pool maintenance company because the work was too draining. Maurice became a historian, until he realized there was no future in it. So he moved to Seattle to work at Starbucks, but quit because it was always the same old grind.

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