Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

Computers and Motorcycles

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor A Computer Nerd Gets a Bike Sam, who was studying programming, was relaxing under a tree on campus one afternoon. Here came his friend Ralph, also a computer nerd. Ralph was riding a shiny, new motorcycle. “How did you get that?” Sam asked. “Did you sell that app you were working on?” “No. But it was weird. This pretty girl was standing beside the bike when I walked by. She started taking off her clothes and said I could have whatever I wanted.” Sam was a little more socially sophisticated than Ralph, and asked, incredulously, “And you choose the motorcycle?” “Well, I knew the clothes wouldn’t fit me.”

Applying for a New Job

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Job Hopper Motorcycle enthusiast Annette was an electrician. She decided she really, really wanted to work on the new electric-powered motorcycle. Though she had a rather checkered work history, she appeared at the Human Relations office with her resume. “I see you’ve quit every job you’ve ever had,” said Mrs. Jameson, the interviewer. “Well, yes,” Annette had to answer. “But at least I’m consistent.”

Marty Can't Afford Therapy

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Bike or Therapy? Marty was afraid to go to bed at night. Ever since childhood, he’d been afraid someone—or something—was lurking under his bed. Finally, he went to see a psychiatrist and explained his problem. Dr. Adams said, “I’m sure we can cure that in a year or so. Just talk to the receptionist and set up three sessions a week.” “How much will each session cost?” “A hundred dollars.” Marty was taken aback. “Let me mull that over, Doc. It’s a lot of money.” A couple months later Marty ran into Dr. Adams at the grocery store. “How is that sleep problem coming along? Still have monsters under your bed?” the doctor asked. “No, doc, I don’t. See I was at the motorcycle dealership and I was looking at this real beauty. I got to talking to the saleslady about my problem and what you’d charge to cure it. I suppose you know that a hundred bucks a visit times three visits a week times fifty-some weeks adds up to quite a big amount. I just couldn’t afford both you and the bike. But she cured me, and I bought the bike.” “How did she cure you?” “She had me cut the legs off my bed.”

Lu Shin and His Chickens

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Chickens and Motorcycles Lu Shin raised chickens and sold the eggs, mostly to members of his motorcycle club. All of a sudden, his chickens began losing their feathers—and they didn’t lay eggs either. He called on the two men who had mentored him when he began his egg business. Hing was an agricultural specialist, a poultry expert with a string of degrees after his name. Ming was a traditional Chinese medical practitioner who knew the ancient lore about keeping birds healthy. Lu Shin’s former mentors were happy to ride out to the farm to inspect the flock of chickens. Neither of them recognized whatever it was that was making the hens drop their feathers. Hing went to the University library, where he found a recent study that showed that gum-leaf tea would prevent feather loss in chickens. Ming cast the I Ching sticks and pored over ancient manuscripts. Just before he went to sleep that night, he had an inspiration—gum tea! That would cure those chickens. The two mentors rode their motorcycles out to Lu Shin’s farm and told him what they’d found. He tried the cure, but day after day went by with no change. All of Hing’s courses and all of Ming’s ken couldn’t get gum tea to feather a hen.

A Genie, an Urn, and... Selena Gomez?

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Benny and the Genie Motorcycle enthusiast Benny Martinson had a sweet job at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He dusted and cleaned the exhibits, working at night when the museum was closed. One night he noticed an ancient Arabian urn that needed polishing. He opened the case, whipped out his dust rag, and began polishing. He saw a faint plume of orange smoke rise from the top of the urn. The smoke became thicker and thicker until a genie appeared. “I am the Genie of the Urn. I offer you a choice. I can grant you three wishes, but if you ever shave your beard or even cut it so long as you live, you must take my place inside the urn. Or, you can just tell me to get back into the urn and be on your way. Benny thought about it—maybe not long enough—and agreed. “First, I want the most expensive motorcycle in the world.” The genie said, “That would be the Ecosse Moto Works Founder's Edition Titanium XX (FE Ti XX). It costs about $300,000.00. It’s yours.” “Now I want the most beautiful woman in the world to ride that bike with me.” “Many people think that Selena Marie Gomez, the singer and actress, is the most beautiful woman in the world. Do you agree?” The genie waved his arm and a life-size photo of Selena appeared. Benny managed to gasp out, “Oh, yes. That would be fine.” “Well, what’s your last wish.” “I wish for enough money to enjoy riding with Selena for the rest of our lives.” “Done,” said the genie and disappeared in a swirl of orange smoke. Benny enjoyed life for many years, riding his Ecosse motorcycle with Selena Gomez. However, he found it more and more difficult because his beard became more difficult to handle with each passing day. And, because everywhere he went, motorcycle enthusiasts were ooh-ing and aah-ing over his ride and his lady, he thought he was pretty hot stuff. “What can that old genie do to me now? I’m going to get rid of this beard. It’s in my way.” And he shaved off his beard. In an instant, he was trapped in the urn, doomed to take the genie’s place. What’s the moral of this story? A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

No Help At All!

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Thanks for Nothing! Marty was taking a motorcycle road trip he’d had on his bucket list for a long time—following old Route 66. On the way to the Route 66 Interpretive Center in Chandler, Oklahoma he somehow got turned around and was lost. Even farms are few and far between in that part of the country, but eventually he spotted a farmhouse. He parked and knocked on the door. A white-haired old woman stood behind the screen door and stared at him. “Do you know the way to Chandler,” he asked. “No, sorry, the farthest I get these days is the church and the little store down the road.” Marty got on his bike and was headed out the driveway when he saw the old lady waving her arms and hollering. He turned around and rode back. “I asked my husband,” said the lady, gasping for breath. “What did he say?” “He doesn’t know either.”

The Obvious Answer Isn't So Obvious...

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Ignoring the Obvious Matthew pulled his motorcycle up to park next to two people who were having an argument in the parking lot at the mall. “Oh, no,” said the fellow with brown hair. “I’ve locked the keys in the car.” “We can get a coat hanger and open the door like they do on TV,” said the blond man. “People will think we’re trying to steal the car.” “You’re right. If we had a knife we could cut the rubber and pop the lock that way.” “No, no. They’ll just think we’re too foolish to use a coat hanger.” Matthew interrupted the argument. “You guys better think of something quick. It’s starting to rain, and you’ve got the sunroof open.”

Chet Threatens the Bar Patrons

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Empty Threats Chet rode his motorcycle into a small town. He’d never been there before, so he couldn’t know that the locals had a habit of playing jokes on strangers. He had a beer and a burger and walked out the door. His motorcycle was gone. He strode back into the bar, pulled out his revolver, threw it into the air, caught it above his head, and fired into the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my bike? I’m gonna have me another beer and iff’n that bike ain’t where I put it when I finish my beer, I’m gonna do what I done in Texas.” The gun and the threat were convincing enough. While Chet sipped his beer, a couple of the guys slipped out the back and returned his motorcycle. Chet finished his beer and walked out the door. The bartender caught up to Chet just as he started his bike. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’ve just got to know. What did you do in Texas?” “I walked home.”

Be Smart in a Crisis

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Obvious Course An automobile, a bicycle, and a motorcycle were carried by tornado to a desert island. The bicyclist said, “Hey! I’ve got a signal. I can call for help on my cell phone.” The car driver interrupted, “I’ve got a flare in the trunk. I’ll send that up.” The motorcycle enthusiast said, “You guys do as you please. I’m going across the bridge.”

Martha at her favorite tavern

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Martha at her favorite tavern Ethel was eager to get finished with the dishes so she could go motorcycling. Her daughter, Lisa, was drying. “Mom,” said Lisa, “How did you get those white hairs when the rest of your hair is brown?” Ethel needed every advantage dealing with her little imp, so she answered, “Every time you do something wrong, one of my hairs turns white.” Lisa was quiet for a little while. Then she piped up, “Mom, how come all Grandma’s hairs are white?”

Do As I Say

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Do As I Say; Not As I do Ethel was eager to get finished with the dishes so she could go motorcycling. Her daughter, Lisa, was drying. “Mom,” said Lisa, “How did you get those white hairs when the rest of your hair is brown?” Ethel needed every advantage dealing with her little imp, so she answered, “Every time you do something wrong, one of my hairs turns white.” Lisa was quiet for a little while. Then she piped up, “Mom, how come all Grandma’s hairs are white?”

Planting Trees

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

Jerry observes two city workers in an amusing and puzzling situation during his motorcycle road trip. Find out why their work seems so pointless and have a good laugh with our latest humor piece!

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