Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

Outrunning A Monster

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor "Survival" Skills Petey, an elderly motorcycle enthusiast, was talking to his grandson, a lover of VR gaming.“In my day,” Petey said, “If you were being chased by a blue-painted berserker with a battle axe, you just had to hope you could outrun him.”

The Best Liars

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Honesty: Not Always The Best Policy Mort the motorcycle enthusiast took his last ride at a ripe old age. St. Peter was showing Mort around Heaven. Mort noticed that a clock graced each corner. “What are all the clocks for?” Mort asked. “Each profession has a clock. When a member of that profession tells a lie, the clock ticks.” Morty saw lots of clocks, for farmers and welders, mechanics and lawyers, doctors and dentists, writers and actors—every profession a person could imagine. Most of them clicked once in a while; some, like to ones for buggy whip maker and stage coach driver seemed not to tick at all; and some clicked quite rapidly. But one profession seemed to be missing. “Where is the clock for politicians?” “Oh,” answered St. Peter, “we have a hard time keeping one on a corner. People keep taking them home to use as fans.”

Roses Sold Out? Try These.

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor A Valentine's Day Gesture Jasper pulled up his motorcycle at the florist. It was very late on the day before Valentine’s Day, and he needed a bouquet. He’d already bought a bottle of absinthe, because she had wanted to taste it ever since she saw it being made on Moonshiners. However, the search for absinthe had taken most of the afternoon, and now the florist was just changing the sign on his door from “Open” to “Closed.” Jasper waved frantically, and the florist, used to desperate men, waved back and opened the door. “I’m all sold out of blossoms,” he told Jasper. “I just have a few stems of nice ferns.” “Can you use the ferns to gussy up this bottle of absinthe?” Jasper asked. “Sure,” said the florist. And, with the feathery fern fronds, a gorgeous ribbon, and a pretty gift card, he made a lovely gift presentation. Jasper’s wife Hortense had a romantic candle-lit dinner prepared, and the couple enjoyed it thoroughly. After dinner, Jasper presented his gift. Hortense read the gift card, “Absinthe makes the heart go fonder.” She gazed into Jasper’s eyes and said softly, “Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones?”

The Earmuffs Controversy

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Generosity of Friends Marty owned a construction company. In this last cold snap and snowfall, he noticed that his foreman Jim’s ears were turning bright red. Marty bought a pair of earmuffs when he rode off on his motorcycle for his morning coffee. He gave the earmuffs to Jim. That afternoon he saw Jim walking around without the earmuffs. “How come you’re not wearing those earmuffs I got for you?” Marty asked. “Tim offered to buy me lunch, and I didn’t hear him. I’m never wearing those earmuffs again.”

A Model Couple?

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Deceiving First Impressions Larry rode his motorcycle to Ken’s house for dinner. When he got to the door, Ken let him in and introduced him to his wife, “Honey, this is Larry.” At dinner it was, “Sweetie, please pass the potatoes.” And “Darling, this roast is delicious.” And so on, and so on. Larry had never met such a romance-minded man, nor had he noticed that Ken lavished much affection on his wife. “I think it’s nice that every time you want to get your wife’s attention you use a term of endearment like honey or darling.” Larry said. Ken answered, “Oh, that! I forgot her name three years ago.”

The T-Shirt Story

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Sew Innovative Probably everyone who rides a motorcycle also has a T-shirt or two. But do you know how they became popular? A century or so ago, sewing was women’s work and guys just didn’t do it. And, all men’s shirts, including undershirts, had buttons. Buttons got lost then, just as they do now. But, since men couldn’t sew, they had to depend on wives, mothers, sisters to sew their buttons back on. In 1904, the Copper Underwear Company advertised its latest innovation: a shirt that stretched enough so the wearer could pull it over his head: “No Safety Pin – No Buttons – No Needle – No Thread.” The ad struck a chord with bachelors, as it was meant to. The stretchy shirts took off, especially after the U.S. Navy ordered one for every sailor.

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Brotherly Advice Over and over I told my brother to keep his helmet face shield down. Of course, he paid no attention. And of course, one day his face met the road. I visited him in the hospital. He struggled to speak. Finally, I heard, “I di…did…wa…y,y,y.” I took pity on him and said, “You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Designer Whims

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor A Style Of Humor Here are some odd facts about designers who don’t—I repeat, don’t—design gear for Eagle Leather. Yves Klein was not happy with any of the dozens of shades of blue. So he created his own. He patented International Klein Blue. He sometimes used human beings as though they were paint bushes. Salvador Dali—the guy with the amazing mustache who painted those melting watches—was a genuine prankster. He kept a pet ocelot. Once he drove to Paris with his car filled with cauliflower. And another time he buried himself in paper money.

Where's The Fashion Police?

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Turtle & The Snail Stevie Snail was gliding across the forest floor when he looked behind him and saw three mean-looking turtles wearing leather jackets. When they saw Stevie look back, they pulled their heads into their shells and hid. Stevie continued into the forest for a month or so. Then he looked back and saw the turtles still following him. He moved faster and hoped to leave them behind. However, after six weeks he looked back again and they were even closer. As the weeks went on, the turtles continued to narrow the gap until they finally caught up with Stevie. They mugged him, took his clothes, and even the key to his motorcycle. In a couple weeks, Stevie reached a pay phone and called the cops. “I’ve been chased through the woods and mugged by three turtles!” Stevie yelled. “Calm down; calm down,” the policeman said. “Can you describe the turtles.” “All I saw was their leather jackets. It all happened so fast!”

The Law Is What?!

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Keep Your Peanuts To Yourself If you think it’s silly that it’s illegal to park your motorcycle perpendicular to the curb, check out these laws: In Bremerton, you are not allowed to shuck peanuts in the street. In Everett, you can’t display a person who is hypnotized (or allegedly hypnotized) in a store window, so no quasi-zombies. In Seattle, it’s illegal to carry a concealed weapon that’s over six feet long. And you mustn’t carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus lest it disturb other riders. Statewide, we still have a lot of laws on the books that are outdated. For instance, it’s illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag. You may not buy a mattress on a Sunday, or meat of any kind. It’s illegal to pretend your parents are rich. Lollipops are banned everywhere in Washington State. Good grief!

Oh Sweet Karma

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Bait & Switch Simon was overjoyed to learn that he was his father’s sole heir. And he wasn’t too sad to learn that Daddy’s stroke had left him just a few days to live. Now, despite being a motorcycle dude, Simon had never had much luck with the ladies. Now, he figured, he had the winning inducement—wealth. He parked outside the tavern and went inside. There he saw the most beautiful woman he’d ever encountered. Ordinarily, he would never have dared approach her. But tonight, he walked right up, sat on the stool next to hers, and said, “I know I don’t look like much, but in a few days, when my father dies, I’ll inherit ten million dollars.” It must have been the new twinkle in Simon’s eyes, because the woman looked into his eyes, and seemed smitten. She accepted drinks when he bought them, and even went home with him to the house he shared with his father. Four days later, she was Simon’s stepmother.

But Was It Worth It?

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Engineer vs. Engineer Motorcycle enthusiasts Phil and Marie wanted a weekend getaway. They found a beautiful spot that fronted on a small river in the mountains. They had a cabin built there and rode up as often as they could. Phil was an engineer by trade, and he’d won medals as a pole vaulter in college. He built a pair of poles with a crosspiece and mulched a run. He dug out his old college pole and his shoes and he was ready to go. He’d run, plant that pole, soar over the crosspiece, and land smack-dab in the river. He loved to spend a hot afternoon this way, but Marie could not be enticed to try it. One year, spring came early and much warmer than usual. Phil and Marie seized the opportunity and rode their motorcycles to the cabin. The river was high and running fast. Phil was determined to try a few pole vaults. Marie warned him that it wasn’t safe, but he persisted. The jump went perfectly, and he hit the water with a resounding splash. But he was swept away and disappeared under the floodwaters. Later that day, the search team found him tangled in a tree that had fallen into the water. Now, Phil was a civil engineer, but Marie was an electrical engineer. She said, “I warned him that it’s not the vault-age that kills you, it’s the current.”

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