Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

Special Ops

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Thought Ninjas Need No Introduction?... Allan and Joe were sharing a cool refreshment at one of the stops on a poker run. They had never met and were just becoming acquainted. “I was a Navy SEAL,” said Allan. “Were you in the military?” “Yeah,” Joe answered. “I was a Canadian ninja.” “I thought I knew all the allied special forces. How come I’ve never heard of Canadian ninjas?” “We’re just that good.”

Out With A Bang

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor A Prank To Remember Some wonderfully wacky and weirdly wonderful bucket list ideas taken from the Internet and somewhat embellished: Put on red lenses, walk up to a stranger, and say, “I’m thirsty; I need your blooood!” Dine at a 3-star Michelin restaurant and ask the waiter about tires. Jump off a cliff—with a parasail, silly. Ride in a hot air balloon—politician-powered to cut fossil fuel consumption. Get a tattoo (surely we jest!) Do a strip tease—to reveal the tattoo. Look inside the mouth of a volcano, and no, that doesn’t include explaining to your mate about the events at the office Christmas party. (See the two items just above.) Write a love note on the bathroom mirror, which may help you avoid making the next item your permanent bedroom after that office party. Sleep in an igloo. Feed a crocodile; make your artificial arm with 3-D printer. (I bet you thought we’d continue the office-party-penance theme.) If a notion tickles your funny bone, we would like to see any loony additions to this nutty bucket list on the Eagle Leather Facebook page.

Some Happy Days Humor

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Aaay! My investment banker used all of my money to buy a leather jacket and a motorcycle, and when I asked for it back he told me to “sit on it.”I think he might be running a Fonzi scheme.

A Different Kind Of Search Party

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Lost And Found Allan and Lois were flying from Tacoma to Milwaukee for the big celebration of Harley-Davidson’s 115th Anniversary. Somewhere over the Rockies, the ride got very bumpy, and the pilot came over the intercom: “Our engines have failed, and I am attempting a crash landing in a mountain valley. Unfortunately our auto-locator is malfunctioning, my instruments are showing impossible readings, and we’ll be completely lost—if we survive.” Acting on the instructions of the flight attendants, the passengers all took the crash position. The plane bounced twice and then, miraculously, came to a safe halt. Once out of the plane, Allan asks Lois, “Did you pay the Mastercard bill?” “No, sweetheart, I didn’t.” “Well then, dear, did you send American Express their check?” “Oh no, I forgot. I’m so sorry!” “One last thing, Esther, did you pay the cable bill?” “I wrote the check, but it’s still sitting on the hall table.” Allan gave Lois a huge hug and a glorious kiss. “Thank goodness! One of them will find us for sure.”

Math Whiz

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor A Questionable Cashier On his first day, the new clerk at the motorcycle accessories store seemed to be having a hard time making the correct change for customers. The shift manager asked him, “Where did you learn math?” “Yale,” the new guy answered. “Well, I’m going to have to write you up for that last mistake. What’s your name?” “Yim Yohnson.”

Break A Leg

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Show Must Go On An up-and-coming actor—we’ll call him Jim—got a bit part in a Mad Max movie, but then fifteen years went by without another film role. One day Mel Gibson came into the restaurant where Jim was waiting on tables. Mel remembered Jim and felt bad that he had not had more success as an actor. Mel had a lot of contacts in the theater world and was able to get Jim a small part in a stage play. Jim had only one line: Hark! I hear the cannon roar. Jim rehearsed with the cast and practiced during the evenings, and finally it was opening night. This could be a fresh start for him, and he stood backstage muttering over and over, “Hark! I hear the cannon roar. Hark! I hear the cannon roar.” It was showtime! Jim strutted onto the stage. And then he heard a resounding boom. “What the heck was that?” he shouted.

Kiss & Tell!

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The *Fine* Print Motorcycle enthusiast Evelyn Poppins tried her hand at gardening. When fall came, she found that her carrots, onions, potatoes, beans had all failed. The only successful crop she has was cauliflower. She picked them and cooked one to have with a delicious cheese sauce. The cauliflower and cheese combo was so good she ate it for a week straight. Two things happened: her lips looked full, glossy, and pouty without even a dab of lip gloss, and her breath smelled so bad even her dog wouldn’t come near her. She contacted one of the major cosmetic manufacturers and told them how her cauliflower crop had beautified her lips. “I don’t know whether it’s something in the soil or something I did while raising them, but these are special cauliflowers,” she told the company. “Well, Ms. Poppins, we will buy some for testing and put an option on the rest.” “Will you name your new lipstick after me.” Evelyn asked. “If your cauliflower does everything you say it will, we certainly will include your name in the product title.” Once the company found that just the tiniest bit of Evelyn’s cauliflower yielded the desired lip enhancements, they bought the rest of her cauliflower and jumped right into production. They hoped to solve the bad breath problem during the manufacturing process. Not only did they fail to solve that problem, but the lipsticks were crumbly. Still, the advertisements were all over TV and social media. They had to go ahead with the new lipstick. After consulting with the legal department, they put this caution on Poppins’ Lip Beautifier: Super-cauli, fragile lipstick, expect halitosis

Train Delay

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Fishy Secret Ingredient Back in the glory days of steam locomotives, Alan and Rick parked their motorcycles in the train station lot, bought their tickets, and went out onto the platform. And they waited, and waited, and waited. “This is the train Ray drives,” said Alan. “I’ve taken it almost every day, and he’s never late.” “Come on!” said Rick. Every train driver is late sometimes.” “Not Ray! He won’t look you in the eye and he never has a kind word to say. He just jumps into the locomotive, burns his secret ingredient and arrives on time. He’s been doing it day in day out for the last fifteen years.” “What do you mean by secret ingredient? Some special coal?” “No, not coal. He adds oysters and mussels to the usual coal. He claims it boost the efficiency of the locomotive.” “Okay, then why is he late today,” asks Rick. “Did he just up and quit?” “No, no, he wouldn’t do that. He just has low shellfish steam.”

Weight For It

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Some Weak Strength Training Callie is a fellow motorcycle enthusiast. Yesterday we met for coffee and she told me that she’s getting ready for autumn riding by doing some strength training. “At the beginning, I stood in my backyard, picked up a five-pound potato sack in each hand, and stuck my arms straight out to the sides. I held them there for ten minutes.” “That’s a long time,” I said. “Only at first. When that got easy, I moved up to ten-pound potato sacks. I graduated to fifty-pound sacks and now I can lift a hundred-pound sack in each hand and hold it out for a full ten minutes.” “Wow! That’s amazing,” I exclaimed. “And you think this will build up your strength and make steering your motorcycle easier?” “Sure. Especially since I’ve started putting a few potatoes into each sack.”

Window To The Soul

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Is Beauty In The Eye Of The Beholder? William wanted so badly to ride his motorcycle, but it had been raining all day. He stepped out onto the balcony of his apartment and put out his hand to check if the rain was letting up. A glass eye fell into his outstretched hand! William looked up and saw Elsie looking down. “Is this your glass eye?” he asked. “Yes, it’s mine. Could you bring it up?” William was happy to do just that. Once he was at her door, Elsie said, “Thanks ever so much! Those things cost a fortune and it would have shattered on the pavement for sure. Let me make you a cocktail as a little thank you gift.” Once she’d put her eye back in, she was very pretty, so William was glad to agree. As they sipped, they chatted, and found they had a lot of common interests. So, when Elsie asked him to dinner, he accepted. But, after the meal, Elsie said, “I’ve really had a great time. Would you like to stay the night?” William was shocked since they had just met. He asked, “Do you invite every man you meet to spend the night?” “No, just the ones that catch my eye.”

The Meaning Of Life

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Cheers to that! Martha, an avid motorcycle enthusiast, gave a TED talk. Her husband Art helped her. She began by filling a large jar with golf balls. “Is this jar full?” she asked. “Yes,” Art answered. Martha then poured pebbled into the jar. The pebbles found the empty spaces between the golf balls. Martha asked, “Is the jar full?” Art answered, “Yes, it is.” Martha picked up a container of sand and poured it into the jar. Naturally, the sand filled the spaces left by the pebbles. And again, Martha asked, “Is the jar full?” “Yes, of course it is.” Then Martha poured two cans of beer into the jar. She looked straight into the camera and spoke, “The jar represents your life. The golf balls are the really important things: your family and friends, your health, your passions. If you lost everything else, you life would still be full. The pebbles are other things that matter, but matter less—things like your house, your motorcycle, your job. The sand is everything else, the small stuff.” She continued, “If you fill the jar with sand first, you have no room for pebbles and certainly no room for golf balls. In life, if you spend all your money, time, and energy on the small stuff, you’ll have nothing left for what really matters to you. So I urge you to pay attention to the things that really matter. Go to your boy’s softball game. Take your spouse to dinner and a movie. Get your annual physical. Take a day off to go ride your motorcycle down some scenic byroad. Be sure you have your priorities straight. If you take care of the golf balls and then the pebbles, the sand will take care of itself. There will always be time to clean house or mow the lawn. Art asked, “That’s so true, but what’s the beer for?” Martha answered, “No matter how full your life may seem to be, there’s always room for a couple of beers.”

On The Lamb

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor The Speeding Granny Marie gave herself a real treat for her sixty-fifth birthday. She bought that new motorcycle she’d had her eye on for so long. It was sleek, and fast, and candy-apple red. And it could go! Soon she was cruising down the highway. The bike rode so well, soon she was racing down the highway. Ooops! She heard the siren and saw the flashing lights in her mirrors. “I can outrun him,” Marie thought. And she was flying: eighty, ninety, one hundred miles an hour. Marie hadn’t made it to sixty-five by being foolish. “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of risk.” And she pulled over. The policeman walked up just as Marie pulled the helmet from her very, very gray hair. “Look, lady,” he said. “I don’t want the ribbing I’d get for having trouble stopping a… woman of your years. So, if you can give me a good reason for speeding, I’ll let you go this time.” Marie thought for barely a second. “My husband left me ten years ago. I thought you were bringing him back.”

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