Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

A Surprise Road Kill Solution

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Easter Bunny Revival Charlie was riding his motorcycle in the wee hours of Easter morning. He had just worked a tough night shift and was tired. Out of nowhere came a huge rabbit in a plaid suit carrying a large basket. Charlie recognized the Easter Bunny at once and swerved desperately to avoid hitting it. He failed. Charlie skidded to a stop and ran over to the still form of the bunny. Dyed eggs and candy were strewn about the corpse. Sobbing, he tried CPR. Lucy was driving along and saw Charlie weeping and trying to revive the rabbit. She pulled over and asked what happened. “I’ve killed the Easter Bunny! Think of all the disappointed children. And it’s all my fault.” “Don’t give up just yet,” Lucy said. She opened her trunk and pulled out a spray can. She sprayed the dead bunny and—lo and behold—up jumped the rabbit. He gathered his eggs and candy and started off down the road. He got about a hundred yards away, turned, and waved. He hopped another hundred yards, turned, and waved. He repeated this performance until he was out of site. Mouth hanging open, Charlie could only stare. When he could no longer see the revived Easter bunny, he asked Lucy, “The Easter Bunny was dead. What did you do? What’s in that can?” “Look at the label,” Lucy answered. Charlie read: “Hair spray. Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds permanent wave.”

Momma's Boy Gets Punked

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Mother Knows Best Wally and Betty were motorcycle enthusiasts who shared an apartment. One night, Wally invited his mother, Ella, for dinner. He was an accomplished cook and prepared an elegant meal of coq au vin, roasted vegetables, and pineapple upside-down cake. All through the meal he noticed his mother looking from him to Betty and back again. Finally, over the cake, he asked, “Mom, why are you looking at us so strangely.” Ella answered, “Well, you’re both young, both good looking, and you share a love for motorcycle riding. I just wonder if you’re more than roommates.” Wally and Betty chorused, “No, we’re just roommates.” Ella looked dubious, but she dropped the topic. A few days later, Betty asked Walter, “Have you seen the silver gravy ladle? We used it when your mom came to dinner and I haven’t seen it since.” Walter responded, “I can’t imagine Mom stealing anything, but I’ll email and ask, if that makes you happy.” He wrote: “Hi, Mom. Now, I’m not saying you took the gravy ladle and I’m not saying you didn’t take it, but the fact is that it has been missing ever since your visit.” He received this reply: “Now, son, I’m not saying you and Betty are sleeping together and I’m not saying you are not sleeping together, but the fact is that, if she was sleeping in her own bed, she’d have found the ladle.”

In Good Faith

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor A Dying Wish Bill had a chain of motorcycle dealerships and had become fairly wealthy. But, as must happen eventually, he found himself on his death bed. He asked to see Bob, his minister, Rick, his doctor, and Steve, his lawyer. They all met in Bill’s hospital room. He told the trio, “I know I’m dying. They say you can’t take it with you, but I’m going to prove them wrong. I’ve got $600,000.00 here in cash and I’m going to give $200,000.00 to each of you. I don’t care how you do it, but I want each of you to put the money in my coffin so it gets buried with me.” They each agreed to carry out Bill’s wishes. A few days after Bill’s funeral, they got together on a ride with their motorcycle club. Minister Bob told the other two, “I feel sort of bad about it, but I only put $150,000.00 into Bill’s coffin. My church has a food shelf that was nearly bare, and it seemed the Lord would rather have that money go to help poor people than rot in a coffin.” Doctor Rick said, “I didn’t put the whole amount in either. I took out $100,000.00 and gave it to the Cancer Society. I’m sure Bill would be okay with it, because he died of that horrible disease.” Lawyer Steve said, “I’m surprised at you. I thought both of you were more honest than that. Look at this check stub.” He pulled out his checkbook. “I put in the coffin a check for the full $200,000.00.

Tantrum vs. Air Force Officer

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor That's One Way To Exit A Plane Louise was wishing she was riding her motorcycle instead of sitting in a jam-packed airplane while a youngster threw a Category Ten tantrum and refused to get into his seat. His mother threatened and pleaded and was herself nearly in tears—all in vain. The kid kicked and hollered until everyone in the plane was upset. All of a sudden, an elderly gentleman in an Air Force uniform strode past Louise to the screaming boy. He bent down, looked the boy in the eye, pointed to his own chest, and whispered something in the lad’s ear. The boy immediately stopped screaming, got in his seat, and fastened his seatbelt. When the gentleman was passing Louise’s seat, she stopped him. “What did you say to that boy?” she asked. The man gestured at his general’s stars, his pilot’s wings, and his many, many medals. “I have children and grandchildren, so I know that sometimes a mother needs help. I showed him these medals and wings and stars and told him they entitled me to throw one passenger out of the airplane door any time I chose.”

'Survival' Skills

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

The Clueless 'Survivors' Three guys who never rode a motorcycle got into a plane and took off across the snow-capped mountains. They crashed. Though they felt lucky to survive, it was summer, and they were not dressed for the high mountains and the cold. They managed to siphon some gas from the plane’s tank and start a fire. Then they salvaged a bent piece of metal and used it to hold and melt snow so they had water to drink. They then cut strips from the plane’s leather seats, fried them to a crisp, and started chewing. Meanwhile, the folks in the motorcycle club, who were on a two-day road trip, watched in amazement. They’d never seen anything like that in a hotel parking lot.

Dad, Hero, Teacher, Mr. Fixit

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Pops, Our Hero On Father’s Day we honor Pops—but we have to find him first. Where might he be? On the golf course—in the rough. On the highway—cruising on his motorcycle. At the bank—cussing out the ATM machine. Under the car—watching oil drip. At the hardware store—bragging to a total stranger about his wonderful kids.

Never Good Enough

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Measuring Up to Tom Martin left his motorcycle at home when he went to New York City for a weekend of theater and fine dining. He stepped out of the terminal and waved at a taxi. Amazing! It was available. He got in, and the cabdriver says, “You’ve got perfect timing. You’re just like Tom.” Martin asked, “Who?” “Tom, Tom Henderson. He did everything right all the time. Just like now. I happened to drop off a fare just when you needed a taxi. Things like that happened to Tom all the time.” Martin said, “Everybody has problems now and then.” “Not Tom Henderson. He was a star athlete; he could have won the grand slam in tennis. He could golf like Arnie in his prime. He sang like one of the three tenors and danced like Fred Astaire and he could play just about any instrument you can name.” “He must have been really special.” The cabbie continued. “I’m just getting started. He had a memory like a computer—never forgot a birthday or an anniversary. He knew which wine went with which entrée, and which fork to use for everything from oysters to dessert. And he was good with his hands. He could fix anything. Now, you take me. If I change a fuse, I’ll put the lights out for blocks around. But not Tom. He did everything right.” “My goodness, he must have been quite a guy.” “Oh, yes indeed. He always knew the best route to avoid traffic jams. I always seem to get caught in them. And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel like royalty. Yes, he was the perfect gentleman, the perfect man. No one could ever measure up to Tom Henderson.” Martin asked, “How did you meet him?” “I never met him. He died, and I married his widow.”

A Genius Genie

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Your Wish Is My Command We dusted off an oldie-but-goodie in honor of classic vehicles: Bennie was a janitor at the LeMay collections. One afternoon, he was polishing a large vase that had somehow been pushed into a corner and neglected. He’d barely begun polishing when smoke curled up from the vase and coalesced into a genie. “Master,” it said, “I am the Genie of the Urn. I can grant you three wishes, but there is one condition. You must never shave or cut your beard from this day henceforward. If you do, you must take my place in the urn.” Bennie didn’t take long to think about it. “I can quit shaving,” he said. “These are my three wishes. I want to own a third of Microsoft’s shares. I want a beautiful, loving wife. I want fame.” His wishes were granted instantly, and he became a famous millionaire with a gorgeous wife. And his beard grew and grew and grew. One very hot, humid day many years later, when his beard trailed on the floor unless he tied it up, the itching became almost unbearable. The memory of the genie’s one condition had faded. Bennie shaved his beard. In a flash, he was imprisoned in the vase, destined to remain there forever. The moral of this story is: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

A deadly solution

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor How do you avoid windchill? Bill and Bob were riding their motorcycles when a chill wind came up. Bill said, “I’m cold. The wind is blowing down my collar and into my shirt. Bob answered, “We’ll pull over here, and you can turn your jacket around, so the collar opening is in the back. Then the wind won’t bother you.” That worked well until they crashed on a curve. Passersby called 911 and ran to help. Then the police arrived and began to interview witnesses for their report. “Were both of the men dead when you got here?” asked the officer. “No,” answered a witness. “One of them was still alive, but by the time we got his head turned around, he was dead.”

Unpatriotic...or not

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Who doesn't celebrate Independence Day? Bobby found some decals he liked at the motorcycle gear store. As he was checking out, he asked, “Do you know what tomorrow is?” Millie was looking down at her till. “Uhh? The fourth.” Bobby said, “No! It’s Independence Day.” “Oh, I guess it is.” Bobby wondered, “Why don’t you have banners up? Don’t you have a special sale?” Millie answered, “We don’t celebrate Independence Day.” Bobby was shocked. “Why not?” “You’re visiting England. We were the enemy.”

Insurance Fraud

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor What's the catch? Tony went to buy motorcycle insurance. He was going to buy just liability insurance, but the agent said, “I can insure your motorcycle against theft for an additional $200.00 annual premium.” “What else can you offer?” Tony asked. “I can ensure your motorcycle against fire for an additional $300.00.” “Any other options?” The agent answered, “I can insure against both for $50.00.” “Wait a minute!” Tony said. “How come it’s so much cheaper to insure against both fire and theft?” “Who wants to steal a burnt-up motorcycle?”

The Pick Up Game

Feb 10, 2019 Eagle Leather

A Little Humor Easily Duped? On her way to Sturgis, Mary stopped off at a hotel for the night. After checking in and eating dinner, she stopped in the bar for a nightcap. “I saw you ride in on your motorcycle,” said the man on the barstool next to her, trying to get into her good graces. Mary just nodded and sipped her drink. The guy tried several other lines, but none of them did him any good. Finally, he came up with, “I know a good game. We take turn asking trivia questions and whoever gets one wrong pays the other person five bucks.” Mary started to stand up. She’d had about enough of this guy, and she was tired after a long day’s ride. “Wait, wait,” he said. “If you’re wrong, you give me five bucks, but if I’m wrong, I’ll pay you five hundred.” Now he had Mary’s interest. “You first,” she said. “How far is it from the earth to the moon.” Mary just pulled out a five and handed it to him. She asked, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The guy was stumped. He tried googling it on his Android. He called every guy on his trivia team. Finally he gave up and forked over the five hundred bucks. “Well,” he said, “what’s the answer?” Mary stood up, put a five-dollar bill on the bar, and walked away.

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