Motorcycle Humor & Jokes | Laugh with Eagle Leather

If The Suit Fits

Oct 16, 2020 Mohamed Toursal

The mortician handed her back her blank check. “No charge,” he said.“But you’ve done an excellent job, for which I’m truly grateful. I’m more than ready to compensate you for the cost of the suit.”

Marry Ann and the existence of God.

Oct 9, 2020 Mohamed Toursal

Mary Ann was riding her motorcycle one day and, as one does, she got to thinking about life, the universe, and the existence of God. She loved science and exploring the origins of life and the layout of the universe. About God, she was unconvinced. But she found that every day she wanted to know: Does God exist?

Rudolph the Red

Oct 2, 2020 Mohamed Toursal

Mark and Martha went to Moscow for a big, international motorcycle rally. They were strolling through Red Square when Mark though he felt a drop of water on his face. “I think it’s raining,” he said. “No, dear, it’s too cold,” Martha offered. “It must be snowing.” “Let’s ask that policeman. He’ll know.”

Counting Crows

Sep 25, 2020 Mike Toursal

The Washington State Department of Transportation found over two hundred dead crows on the highway. They were afraid that smoke from the fires had killed them. Once they’d been examined by a vet, it was shown that they’d been hit by vehicles and the fires were not to blame. In fact, the vet was able to determine, by analyzing paint residue, that 98% of the crows had been killed by motorcycles and just 2% by cars.

Trample my yard

Sep 17, 2020 Mike Toursal

“I want you to know that I’ve just spent a small fortune getting my front yard landscaped. I’ve put in expensive hybrid roses, perennial borders, and even a fishpond with a fountain.”

I could never date a beekeeper.

Sep 3, 2020 Mike Toursal

Howie sent her what he thought was a pretty clever message: “Your dog can ride on my motorcycle any time.” Louise thought that was actually cute and responded, “My dog’s name is Debit. Does your bike have a name?” “I just call it Harley.” “That doesn’t sound too original. I’m a CPA.” “No, I guess it’s not a very original name. I’m a beekeeper.” “Well, you should know right now, I could never date a beekeeper.”

The first rule of preparing to examine a witness

Aug 27, 2020 Mike Toursal

He began, “Mrs. Bellefort, do you know me?” She said, “Certainly. I’ve known you since you were a tadpole, and you are a major disappointment. You tell lies, you cheat on your wife. You gossip. Oh, yes, I know you think you’re really something, but you haven’t even got brains enough to know you’ll never amount to anything but a two-bit, small-town jerk.”

Beware of Bears

Aug 26, 2020 Mike Toursal

‘Grizzly bears and black bears are being seen in record numbers. You should wear bells to alert any bears to your presence. Carry pepper spray in case you encounter a hostile bear. You can tell

You Started It!

Aug 5, 2020 Mike Toursal

Sherman is a Human Resources professional at Harley-Davidson. He was interviewing Matt, a brand-new graduate of MIT. “Well, Matt,” said Sherman, “what salary do you expect as a manufacturing engineer?” “In the $150,000 range, depending on what benefits you offer.” “Okay, what would you say to a package that includes full medical and dental coverage with no co-pays or deductibles, six weeks paid vacation, at least two days off each month, and a company motorcycle for your commute?” “Holy cow! Are you kidding me?” “Sure, but you started it.”

Monsters under her bed!

Jul 16, 2020 Mike Toursal

Chloe was terrified that monsters lurked under her bed. One day she saw an ad on television in which Dr. Martin offered a free first consultation. She rode her motorcycle to Dr. Martin’s office. The free consultation was brief, to say the least. “What’s the problem?” asked Dr. Martin. “I keep thinking there are monsters under my bed. That makes it hard to get to sleep. I can’t feel safe in my own bed. I know it’s childish, but I can’t get the monsters out of my mind.”

Are you a time traveler?

Jul 10, 2020 Mike Toursal

Margie was just parking her motorcycle to eat a picnic lunch out in the country when she heard a “whoosh.” And there was a young man, dressed in weird-looking clothes and holding what must have been a high-tech device. He was clearly upset when he walked up to Margie and asked, “Excuse me, maam, what year is this?” Margie read her share of sci-fi, so she asked, “Are you a time traveler?” “Well, yes. I am. But please don’t tell anyone. This is my first solo trip and I’ve screwed up the calculation for the target date.” “Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul. And the year is 2020. I’m sorry you arrived at such a troubled time.” The time traveler paled. His eyes were wide as saucers. “It’s worse than I feared,” he said. And then he choked out, “is this before or after the eruption of the Yellowstone super-volcano?”

“No shirt, no tie, no service.”

Jul 2, 2020 Mike Toursal

Marty was crossing the desert on his motorcycle using an off-the-map side road. He spun out on a patch of sand. His bike was ruined, and he wasn’t in such good shape himself. His ankle was either sprained or broken, and he could only crawl. There wasn’t a car in sight.

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