Carol Ann Talks to God

Carol Ann, a female motorcycle enthusiast in her fifties, had a heart attack. She walked through a long tunnel toward the light. But before she reached the brilliance at the end of the tunnel, she heard the voice of God, “You must go back.”

Carol Ann asked the Lord, “You mean my time isn’t up?”

“No, daughter, you have another thirty-seven years, two weeks, three days, and five hours left to live.”

When she awoke, Carol Ann had a vivid memory of her near-death experience. She thought, “I’ve got years to live, roads to ride, people to meet. And I’m gonna do it lookin’ good!”

So she had liposuction and a tummy tuck and a facelift, too. She looked years younger when she left the hospital. Riding her motorcycle home, though, she was hit by a truck. Once again she was in the tunnel of light, but this time no voice told her to go back.

When she met God at the end of the tunnel, she said, “Hey, God, I thought you said I had more than thirty more years to live and here I am dead. How come you didn’t save me from that truck?”

“Sorry, Carol Ann, I didn’t recognize you.”